Beyond self love: Commitment to self

Are you looking for that thing that is going to change your life?

The thing that will make you fulfilled and bring lasting meaning to your life?

If you are, I am right with you. It’s been a long search, but it’s true. The answer is always in plain sight. It’s right before you.

There is really only one way to experience the one thing that will bring you the joy and strength you search for.

First, let me ask a question…

Do you practice self-love?

Self-love is a beautiful practice for filling the inner void of love on your own. It feels good and it allows you to have more to give others.

Some people might have misgivings about it. It feels self-absorbed, maybe vain and silly. That’s ok. It might be a little silly, but it fills a hole some of us have deep within.

There is something that goes beyond self love that gives you even more. Not just for your emotional state and relationships, but for your whole life.

This is what is called fierce love. It isn’t an emotional state nor does it come from emotions. It’s more like a great loyalty to yourself.

In essence it is commitment to yourself.

What does fierce love mean?

Fierce love isn’t an emotion, nor is it like other types of love. It is grounding yourself with a full commitment to yourself.

Have you ever experienced this?

It is a full presence on your life, your relationships, your work, your development, your goals and dreams. It is a commitment to always being there for yourself no matter what thoughts and emotions you come upon.

This self commitment is individual, so ask yourself a couple questions to discover what it is for you.

What is consistent and true for you?

Where inside you do you feel truth and commitment to yourself?

You already have self-commitment

This fierce love is already inside you. It’s a natural state to be in. But it requires presence and mindfulness. When you lose yourself in your thoughts or emotions, you forget your center. You forget the commitment.

If you fall into negative states it gets even worse.

They pull you farther away from the commitment. States such as despair, hopelessness and inactivity. Or you lose yourself in trying to make others happy or fill their needs. Your own goals and dreams and commitment drifts away.

Have you experience this drift away from yourself?

I have. It came in the form of trying to make others happy, in trying to be something another person wanted me to be, and in losing sight of what I was here to do. It made everything much harder. Every task was a major effort because I had no ground to stand on anymore. I didn’t know what it was all for any longer. Life was short on meaning.

Have you ever given up on goals or New Year’s resolutions?

This is forgetting to be mindful of your commitment to self too. It is easy to get distracted. It takes presence to remember what you want to do for yourself. Some call it self-abandonment, but that is such a loaded term. It brings up feelings of shame, guilt and disappointment. These never serve anyone.

Instead, recommit to yourself. Get back that fierce love inside you.

Bring yourself back to yourself

It’s so important to remind yourself again of your commitment to yourself. As I said, it is individual, and it can change your life. In fact, if you want to change your life, you must make a deep commitment to your own self first.

Here is what you might gain from self-commitment:

  • inner strength
  • calm and peace
  • certainty, elation, joy
  • self doubt disappears
  • motivation and inspiration
  • meaning and purpose
  • new depth and layers within you
  • your own life back in your hands where it belongs

Commitment to yourself and your life is powerful. It makes everything you know you need to do easier. Everyday tasks have a greater meaning in your life. You take responsibility for them. It gives you the freedom to release the negative emotions that hover over you and drag you down.

Everything you do is your life, and you are committed to it. You are willing to be best your best self no matter what obstacles stand before you. And you never lower your standards. You no longer look to get love from pleasing someone. You are worth much more. You are love.

Self commitment creates certainty

Call it security or comfort or maybe even confidence. It’s when you feel a sense of certainty that you can give yourself what you need, and you can handle any situation that arises.

When you decide to make that commitment to yourself, you give yourself certainty, security, that you will always be there for you. You will always notice yourself, you will make sure you don’t have to dwell in difficult thoughts and emotions. You give yourself other options.

It is freedom. Freedom from dependence for love and acceptance. Freedom to be yourself no matter what. Freedom from expectation and a need to control everything and everyone. It is freedom from the fear that you will feel pain. Whatever happens, you are present for yourself.

In essence, everything you want to feel, every emotion you are hunting after is already inside you. They can be called up at a moment’s notice. You are free to live your life now instead of treat everything as a hunt for emotions you want to experience.

If you are feeling a lack of commitment to yourself where can you find it?

Reach inside yourself

Go to your essence to your core. Become aware of yourself and what you are.

Think of times when you were committed to yourself.

This may have been when you were pursuing a major goal like getting an education. Or intent on developing a particular part of yourself. It may be a time when you felt really grounded and unshakable. What was that like?

Give it a name

To remind yourself of this, give it a name. Warrior poet, Guardian of love, heart of peace. It doesn’t really matter. If you would rather, you can choose a symbol of your commitment. This is for you to remind yourself what you are at your core. What your inner awareness is.


Self commitment takes you beyond self-love. It is the source of a love that is more than just an emotion. It’s at the core of your whole being.

When you commit to yourself and your life, you are bringing your awareness back where it belongs. It is the foundation of any change you want to make to your life. The key is that you are not really changing yourself, you are still the same at the core. You are merely bringing your awareness to the things that don’t fit with who you are. Then they begin to shift.

You expand yourself and your life as your commitment strengthens.

Commitment to yourself is a natural state to be in, but it’s easy to forget. Thoughts and emotions often grab your attention and you forget the commitment. Focusing and soothing the anxiety you feel becomes greater than being present in this moment with yourself, and knowing those discomforts are temporary.

When you are committed to yourself, you no longer need to look to the world to fill you with love because you are love. Every moment can be filled with joy and love if you let it. Every moment you experience creates your life. Make sure they matter.

Are you willing to commit to yourself?