Becoming More You

Do you know who you are?

This is a really tough question almost no one asks. We get asked how we are, what we do, where we live, but no one asks, who are you inside.

Maybe it’s because our own fear of knowing the truth about ourselves is reflected back at us. It’s kind of scary actually.

I know what it’s like to want to run from myself, to not want to look in the mirror. In those times, all commitment to myself was lost and gone. It was a profound abandonment.

Life doesn’t feel too great in that place. It’s pure suffering. And only you can pull you out of it. You alone.

I have pledged to myself not to do this ever again. I am here for myself through thick and thin, and I am committed to always being myself without apologizing for being who I am.

I’ve spent some time thinking what this means.

How can I better know myself, how can I do a better job being me, and how can I do it in a way that also empowers other to do the same.

I do this for freedom. I want to be free of the heavy past, the expectations of others, the expectations of myself. I want to feel my own strength coursing through me at every moment. This is what it means to be yourself.

I’ve worked out bits of strategy that help me along the way. I hope some of them will help you too.

Embrace your creativity

No one can express anything quite like you.

Your experiences are unique, and they shape your perspective. When you start appreciating them for that, you can start using them for your benefit.

Accept your raw emotions

Raw emotion is a strength not a weakness.

When you can be honest with yourself about how you feel, you can change it. Stuff it down and you will always be lying to yourself. You can’t possibly be yourself when you live like this.

Note, that is not an excuse to dump them on others. Your emotions are your responsibility to take care of.

Live in your heart

Your heart has the answers for you.

It knows stuff that your mind cannot. Your mind busies itself digging up stuff from your old programming, but your heart doesn’t want to do that. It wants to live in love.

And by love I mean unconditional acceptance. Your mind keeps blocking you from this because it’s been made afraid. Get rid of the fear, and you live in love and embrace life.

Integrate all parts of you

Stop blocking parts of you.

This one is tough. You have to first become aware of the different parts of you that are being squashed by your programming. Maybe you grew up in a tough home where dancing and singing wasn’t allowed, so now all your creative energies are blocked. You have to free yourself of that junk, so you can integrate other parts of you.

Be present with yourself

Do you automatically reach for the mobile or TV remote as soon as you have a few free minutes? Or when thoughts of the coming next week overwhelm you?

Sometimes you have to resist the urge and be with yourself. Pay attention to what causes the anxiety and pain. Feel it and let it pass. Enough blocking and repressing. You never find out who you really are if you never spend a few quiet moments with yourself.

Connect with your inner self

Find good ways to connect with yourself

Often our ways of connecting are unhealthy and toxic. We live in sadness, depression or anger and frustration. These give us feelings of connecting with ourselves, but they do nothing to empower and inspire. The problem is they become habits, which eventually become your story.

Learn to make connection through empowering means, such as journaling, walking, and creating.

Get physical

Exercise and move..

Pushing yourself, moving, stretching is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. Human bodies are made for movement. All this sitting we do is not what we were meant for. You get all sorts of mental and emotional benefits beyond the physical.

And it provides an opportunity for you to push yourself and find your capabilities.

Discover the emotions you want more of

How do you really want to feel?

Our distraction culture takes us away from emotions of all kinds and makes life a haze of disconnection. It’s time to get more from life.

Emotions make us feel alive and create passion and energy. Discover what emotions make you more productive, happier, and more energetic and make it easy to bring them into your life.

Develop empowering beliefs and stories

You must start directing your self talk.

Don’t leave it in the hands of your brain or your inner critic. Take control of what you are saying. Develop affirmations or anything else that helps you. Remind yourself of successes you have had. Learn to be your own best friend and never abandon yourself.

Make better decisions

Better decisions come from better emotional and mental states.

You must learn to think differently about yourself and your life. It really is your one chance at this. Don’t squander it away with blame, victimhood and stories of failure.

Decide to take care of yourself on the inside.

Do something hard

The self-care world wants you to have it easy.

That’s nice now and then, but it does nothing to make you grow. You need to push yourself, face a fear, tackle a big project to make your self-esteem grow. When you see yourself showing up day after day doing something you really don’t want to do, you start appreciating your own efforts. It becomes a thing. And then you are ready to do it all over again when you finish.

The mountains in life never disappear from your path, so start conditioning yourself for them now.


If you want to be more yourself, you have to start getting to know yourself deep inside where the fear and darkness live. Learn what’s in there and clear it out with new habits.

Most of us spend our lives in distraction, busyness, ignoring the person inside. It’s not the way to the life you really want. Let’s try committing to ourselves instead.

You must engage with yourself in a new way if you want a better life. I’m in there learning along with you. The days are not always easy, but they are each full of valuable lessons about what we are capable of when we decide to stop running from the person in the mirror.